WEEK 1 (April 19-24)- The Special Day

The day is Thursday. In the morning, it was calm and gloomy. The day started smoothly, daily morning routines were done quickly in order to prepare for the scheduled online class around 10:30 am. Early in the morning, I already told myself not to stress out because it was my day, in fact the most special one. Knowing how exhausting and draining this remote learning is, I have decided to make this Thursday a fulfilling and stress-free day.

As soon as I finished attending all of my synchronous classes, academic-related matters were set aside. I have to enjoy this lucky day. I started calling my parents and siblings in the province. We were able to talk and reminisce about the good old days, the days when we were young and that work doesn’t bother anyway.

The typical greetings and updates went to a long talk with an unending laughter. This kind of conversation I have with them is something that is very unusual, hence memorable.

Later in the afternoon, my cell phone went busy ringing the notification bell. I have received a bunch of greetings and personal messages from my friends, past schoolmates and college classmates. It was overwhelming. I sat in the corner, went busy replying to all those who remembered and greeted me. I had a random video call with my friends, checking each other’s status and commitments. It was quite a refreshing moment, to be able to look back to the memories we once created, may it be a good or not so good one. 

That day, I celebrated my birthday. The celebration went very simple, no expensive gifts, no high-priced preparations. Instead of going out, finding somewhere to eat, I have decided to celebrate it at the comfort of our home. What is the significant decision I have made this week? That is to cherish and spend the day by connecting to other people whom I value the most. Lately, I have found out that I was too busy working things out, accomplishing all the school requirements before and on the due date. I used not to answer calls from my parents and siblings who are far away, telling them that I have a ton of workloads to finish first.

Amidst this pandemic and community lockdown, we might have random emotions and the feeling of isolation is heavily striking. Due to the limited movement and travel restrictions, we can barely visit our loved ones. What I did during my birthday was something that I felt the most essential thing to do. I believe that in accomplishing all of these academic workloads, I must maintain the relationship that I have towards the other people, towards my loved ones. I must avoid doing things at the expense of my personal relationships. This self-reflection made me desire to reach out to my family and friends. My birthday celebration was delighted and fulfilled by the conversations, laughter and unending stories I have shared with my family and friends.

WEEK 2 (April 25-May 1)

Unlike the previous week, this one became tough, that each day was full of unending struggle. When I woke up that Tuesday morning, the lower lid of my left eye was in sore and pain. That morning, I don’t have any idea of what really happened during my sleep. In my case, however, this incident is not totally. I have been experiencing this for almost a year now. It is a recurring condition, my eyes suddenly get infected and it swells.

Experiencing the same thing for almost a year now, I learned some of the home remedies that I must apply in order to treat this painful condition of my eye. It has been a year now since the last time that I visited an ophthalmologist. In that span of time, since that I’m afraid of going to any hospital in this time of pandemic, I always do self-medication that the ophthalmologist taught me.

I immediately rinsed my face and did the hot compress. This particular routine must be done thrice a day until the swelling and pain subside.

Thursday morning, the swelling and pain became severe. Therefore, I have decided to visit the nearest eye clinic. In comparison to my previous experiences in terms of swelling and pain in the areas in my eyes, this one was the worst. I could barely open my eyes and it was hard to move my head towards any direction. That very day, I visited a clinic, got my eyes checked, as well as the medicines that could relieve the pain and the swelling. On that day also, the doctor told me that the previous eye ointment that I always use as I do the self-medication was contaminated, therefore infecting my eye that led to severe swelling and pain. 

As of this writing, I am experiencing a bit of pain in my left eye, as well as some discharge due to the infection.

However, my case at the moment is more manageable in comparison to the past few days. The significant decision I have made this week is to visit a doctor and have my eyes check. For almost a year now, I always did self-medication every time that this swelling resurfaces due to the fear of contracting COVID-19 if I visit a hospital. In this week, I have learned that proper health intervention is crucial in the case I have stated earlier, and self-medication must be done with the guidance of a healthcare professional. Reliance to the previous knowledge that you have might be too risky in terms of health concerns. I came with that decision of consulting a doctor because I have felt that something was becoming worse, and it must be the priority rather than the fear of contracting COVID-19 as I go outside. Aside from these health interventions, I realized that one’s health is way too important than anything else. I set aside my academic work, have myself enough rest and sleep. These academic workloads can be taken any other day, but one’s health must be attended closely every single day.

Week 3 (May 2- May 8)

For the past seven days, my patience, commitment and determination in pursuing this course and dream of mine was greatly challenged. My physical and mental health demands a lot of rest. I was in a recovery period from all of the adversities I started experiencing in week 2. The eye infection, severe headache, and other draining feelings were all attacking simultaneously. Since then, I have set aside all of the asynchronous activities consequently piling up and creating a long list of backlogs.

In the previous days, I have managed to slowly cope up and work on the pending asynchronous activities. This, perhaps, the most significant decision I have made this week. Amidst all of the difficulties I have experienced, I must not turn back nor quit the fight. Instead of feeling left out in the class due to the backlogs, I must remain firm to my commitment and should persevere in order to gain success. I have realized that in times that you are about to give up or lose your track, always remember the reason why you have chosen and started that fight. This may sound cliché but it can’t be denied to be effective and helpful most of the time.

Continuing this education in a remote and isolating manner is already arduous. We, students, are almost dealing with our academic requirements 24/7. The boundaries between home and workspace have been stamped out, so as the work time and rest. On top of these excessive exertion of effort and time in order to pursue this course and education, having some health problems are definitely unlikable. However, in my case, these hardships must be a building block of my future profession. Such experience that must be remembered every time I am about to face a huge battle.

Week 4 (May 9-May 15)

Continuing education amidst a crisis, like pandemic, is not an easy task to dwell on. In this online class, each day seems to be so hard and draining. Your home that is supposed to be your resting place is turned into your workplace also. You are working for a long and extended hour, and your break time is literally your sleeping time, that is consequently shortened. This is not an exaggeration, rather this is the new routine that most, if not all, of the students can relate and attest to. Yet, even though it is a laborious undertaking, you must learn how to effectively manage your time, your strength, and support system.  

This week, I have experienced this unusual event, a very rare one. A strange moment where I longed for a quiet and safe place where I can be alone, to be able to contemplate and rewind. This is no ordinary routine that I am used to, because I preferred to be with my family, friends or relatives and made myself busy in order for me not to sense the feeling of isolation.

 Since the beginning of this remote learning, I have devoted my attention in answering and accomplishing all of the necessary school requirements. I am doing this to redirect my attention away from the frustrations that this pandemic unendingly delivers. However, this week gave me an exceptional opportunity to reflect and think of the present situation I am facing. I have realized that amidst this roller coaster ride, I have established a good support system, I have built a strong and bold personality. Hence, it made me arrive at the most significant decision I have made in this week, that is to claim and tell myself that I am far better now in comparison to the previous version of myself yesterday because of those factors. I have come to this situation because honestly, I can feel that my mental health is not that stable compared to how it was during the pre-pandemic period. Nowadays, I am easily getting tired, annoyed or frustrated even on the simple things. In order not to submerge into such a state, I therefore make myself busy with some other things, to redirect my attention, or completely set aside the reasons causing these touchy feelings.

Nowadays, we must also take care of our mental health, the way how we treat our physical well-being. This time is full of extra challenges and unending dramas, it is important to connect to the people whom you valued the most, and build strong rapport. They are your support system that could catch and handle your downfall during unexpected times. Do not be too hard on yourself. One must eagerly enhance his/her adversity quotient in order to manage and surpass all of the challenges and difficulties in life, especially during these extraordinary times.

Week 5 (May 16-22)

This week was much anticipated. The university’s academic break has finally arrived, allowing students and faculties to take a week-long break from all of the academic workloads and deadlines.  Students can finally book for an out-of-town vacation, long rides, and other fun activities that must be experienced during this interlude. However, in my situation, this was not the ideal break that most of us wanted. Our thesis defense was scheduled for this same week. Our research adviser coincidentally planned to conduct the defense of our study on the weekends of the academic break. Consequently, amplifying the pressure on our group to have an intensive review and dry runs of the defense in order for us to be more prepared on whatever questions or queries that the panel may ask. Ultimately, for our study to be accepted. Supposedly, this week must be devoted to some other activities outside of our academic sphere yet we need to work and focus on our research.

The days went too fast, I had those random feelings and emotions. It was not a piece of cake knowing the pressure and the expectations of our classmates, mentors, and the panel towards our research. Having said that, I and all of the members of the group did not let our guard down. Perhaps, this was the most significant decision I have made in this week. We have worked overtime, we did a lot of critiquing, and clarifications. Our experience in the preparation stage is exhausting and tense. Yet, we worked hard in order to remain that composure and confidence towards our work and ourselves too. With this group, I have seen how teamwork really works, how collaboration and openness impacted our research journey. Accordingly, we have defended our research and passed the defense with flying colors. That day was very rewarding, after months of effort, we have earned the prize of our hard work.

The decisions I have made in this week made me realize what my values are. Once I am in a commitment and I have responsibilities that greatly affect other people, I give my hundred percent attention in order to carry out that responsibility and to meet the expectations of the other people. This research is a group task hence we have to work collaboratively. Instead of following my desires during the academic break, and neglecting my role as one of the members of the group, I made it clear that I can perform what I ought to do and contribute to the success of the group. At the same time, in this experience, I have proved how important decision-making is at this point in time where we have multiple roles to be played and tasks to be done. In deciding whether to focus on the research or to take a rest in this academic break as it must be, you must first choose the option that will constitute to the common good or that will benefit the group. With that, I have arrived at the most significant decision I have made in this week.

Week 6 (May 23-29)

In our day to day living, we always have these surprising or unexpected moments that come to pass on our work, on the road, or even at our very own homes. There are uncontrollable things that we have to experience for no particular reason. This week, I had this unforgettable and somewhat traumatic experience while driving.

Every week, I have to drive and take my sibling to his office in Quezon City. That is a 40-minute drive from where we reside. As we arrived at his destination, my sibling made it a routine to always remind me of how important careful and defensive driving is. For him, slow driving makes the life of the driver and the people on the road safe. However, I have this contradictory view of slow driving, because it somewhat makes the ride boring and unexciting.

On my way home, I was able to take a route wherein there were no traffic jams, minimal traffic lights, and fewer passing vehicles. I was able to speed up on every freeway. Indeed, it was thrilling. Yet, while I am consciously violating the prescribed speed limit, the words of my sibling suddenly came to my mind, consequently made me to decelerate and drive in a safer manner. It was about a kilometer until I reached our own driveway, a marble-sized stone hit the windshield of the car, thus it caused the glass to break. At that very moment, I was totally shocked and nervous. Thanks to my sibling’s advice about careful and slow driving, it gave me a chance to get away from a worst case scenario. After that incident, I was able to drive home even though my hands and feet were trembling.