Now this is the story of how I gained the crown

So give me a minute to say how I rule this town

In Fontainebleau, born and raised

On the throne is where I spent most of my days

Rulin' at Nine, acting like a fool

and not believing I inherited the family jewels

Then when my mother was up to no good

and didn't let me appreciate my manhood

I threw her out with all my toys

and exiled her to a place called Blois

I gave her advisor Richelieu some leeway

for he would be ruling for me when I was away.

Her followers crossed me and threw a fit

So I didn't know any better and made them quit... From life

sipping out of a wine glass

This type of ruling stuff I would never pass

That is till the Huguenots kicked down my door

And spread their Protestant nonsense on my floor

But wait I hear they're just a bunch of brats

So I signed a treaty and finished all of that

I wasn't done though, not right there

Because I need them all to be aware

I started a war with Spain and was almost wiped out