Dear Reader,

I'm so glad I found you. I'm in desperate need of your help.

I'm very hungry and my family refuses to feed me! Everyone tells me I have to wait till dinner time but I'm hungry now!!

The first person I asked was my brother and he says I have to wait. Can you believe that? I can't believe that he said that to his best buddy!

Why did he say no? Is it because sometimes I bite him when we wrestle? If that is so, I promise I will stop biting my brother from now on.

Don't get me started on my sister! She is very strict with dinner time!

I don't understand what I've done to her. All I've ever done is love her and cuddle with her.

But she says I have to wait till dinnertime. Doesn't she know that if I became bony, I wouldn't be an effective cuddly buddy!

Oh Great! Now my sister is making fun of me online! Doesn't she understand that my hunger is a very serious issue!

I mean I could starve to death and my family doesn't even care!

When I asked my mom if I could have dinner she said no.

When I asked her why she said if I ate now, I would become fat like Aunt Holly.

I asked her what fat was and she said it's what happens when you eat too much.

Fat sounds awesome!

Aunt Holly

I see that you're unimpressed with my reasoning.

Ok, if you help me get food, I'll play fetch with you. I'll even return the ball to you.

What do you say?

No huh?

Ok, if you help me get food, I'll let you pet my belly.

You know you want to pet my belly!

Still no? (Dang it that usually works!)

Ok reader, what would convince you to say yes?

A new car? A trip to the moon? Some money?

I'm open to negotiation!