Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"

Student: "Meat!"

Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"

Student: "Bacon!"

Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"

Student: "Homework!"

Q: Is Google male or female? 

A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Q: Why was six scared of seven? 



A: Because seven "ate" nine.

Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

 

A: Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.

Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? 

A: Envelope.

Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?" 



Student: "A drinking problem."

Q: Why did Adele cross the road? 



A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job? 



A: Because it was soda pressing.

Teacher: "Which book has helped you the most in your life?" 



Student: "My father's check book!"