Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. - Albert Einstein

Dear math, Please grow up and solve your own problems. I am tired of doing them for you - That one kid in math class

What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?

Where is the POP corn?

That annoying moment when your texting to your papismallegs and that bitch auto correct joins the conversation

Ultimate lazy moment: Watching the sunrise on TV because you're too lazy to get up and watch it for real. - Your uncle...

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither! - coolfunnyquotes.com 

I always try to cheer myself up by singing when I get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems. - coolfunnyquotes.com 

I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone. - coolfunnyquotes.com 

I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven't pooped it out yet. I'm really scared, you guI swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven't pooped it out yet. I'm really scared, you guys. - coolfunnyquote

If you were able to believe in Santa Claus for 8 years, you can believe in yourself for 5 minutes. - coolfunnyquotes.com