“If you want to write, keep cats”
- Aldous Huxley
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Tony, Angie (Angelo), and Sal were childhood friends who grew up together in Brooklyn, NY. After high school the trio enlisted in the Navy and joined the SEAL team. They would serve honourably for nearly ten years completing several dangerous missions across the globe. Once they were discharged the guys decided to open their own sub shop in their old neighborhood and enjoy civilian life.
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The three friends were all big cat lovers and donated a portion of the profits from the sub shop to local animal charities. They also became involved in helping find lost cats in the neighborhood. They jokingly referred to their group as ‘The Whisker Warriors.’ The boys had an impressive record when it came to finding lost kitty cats. But that good fortune was about to change.
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Enter Will Roth. He was a hustler and ne’er do well who was always looking to make a fast buck. One morning he came across a ‘Lost Cat’ poster taped to a street light. And as luck would have it he would end up crossing paths with the missing kitty moments later. He was about to call the number on the poster when he saw the word ‘Reward’ at the bottom.
“$100? If they want this cat back so badly they’re going to have to pay double” he sneered.
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Within weeks Will’s scam had become a thriving business as he took advantage of cat lovers throughout Brooklyn. He had become so greedy and heartless that he began kidnapping cats from their homes. But why stop there? Why not expand the business throughout the five boroughs? To manage his rapidly increasing empire Will was going to need help from some like-minded people.
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Meet ‘The Porch Pirates’, a group of small-time crooks who would steal packages from the front porches of local citizens. Eventually they become more daring as they would hold up UPS and Puralator trucks with their realistic looking swords. The dastardly trio were not actual sea-faring pirates even though they looked the part. They had just recently been fired by a Long John Silver’s restaurant and decided to keep the uniforms. They even took the fake plastic parrot. Together with Will Roth, this new league of supervillains was ready to terrorize cat owners across New York State.
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“Hey, look you guys, it’s my niece Elisa!” Sal called out. “Are you here to pick up some subs? What’s the matter? You’re crying.”
“S-s-somebody took Minto. He’s been missing for a couple of days” the little girl whimpered.
“That’s been happening a lot lately” Angie said.
“It’s almost as if somebody is behind the rash of missing pets. Like they’re doing it on purpose” Tony added.
“But who would do such a thing?” Sal grimaced.
Suddenly the TV in the sub shop got all fuzzy. When the picture returned Will Roth was on the screen.
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“I’m not Noah and this is not my ark but I do have a lot of animals aboard. YOUR animals. And if you want them back you’re going to have to pay big time. I don’t like cats and never understood why people get so attached to these furry, finicky beasts. If you want your pets back be prepared to pay me thousands of dollars. We’ll see just how much you really love your cats. If you try any funny business you’ll have to deal with my gnarly team of pirates patrolling the Atlantic Ocean.”
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“That’s Minto Uncle Sal! You gotta save him!”
“Don’t worry Elisa we’re going to bring all those kitty cats home safe and sound. Tony, contact the Captain. It’s time to go back to our Navy SEAL roots.”
An hour later a helicopter landed in an open field just outside of Brooklyn. Piloting the chopper was the teams’ old friend, Captain Tenille who had saved their lives during an especially hazardous mission several years ago.
“Captain, good to see you as always” Angie saluted.
“Arf!” the seal responded. “Arf?” he repeated.
“Oh right” Tony said as he tossed a fish to the hungry seal.
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Tony, Angie, and Sal jumped from the helicopter into the ocean below. They were dressed in the full frogman gear (goggles, wetsuit, flippers, and oxygen tanks). It sure felt good to be back in the ocean working as a team again. It’d had been a few years since the boys were involved in a high-stakes adventure. But after a spirited karate fight with some sharks, any doubts they may have had about their abilities completely disappeared. It was time to take down Roth and his not-so-merry band of pirates.
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“OWWW!”
As they swam towards the pirate ship, Tony was taken down by a cannonball. The impact sent him crashing to the ocean floor. The booming of the cannon startled the cats on board who began to meow, howl, and whimper. The noise was so loud that it allowed for Angie and Sal to board the ship without being seen or heard. Beneath their wetsuits, the boys were wearing their military attire. Unfortunately they didn’t have access to their old military weapons so they improvised.
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Angie and Sal were able to make their own crudely constructed weapons from loaves of stale bread from the sub shop. They also used meatballs as makeshift grenades loading them with extra spices and seasonings. After a quick melee, the three pirates were left laying on the ship’s deck covered in crumbs and tomato sauce. As they struggled to get to their feet, the pirates would be overwhelmed by a flock of seagulls who gathered to munch on the leftovers.
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“If you want to write, keep cats”
- Aldous Huxley
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Tony, Angie (Angelo), and Sal were childhood friends who grew up together in Brooklyn, NY. After high school the trio enlisted in the Navy and joined the SEAL team. They would serve honourably for nearly ten years completing several dangerous missions across the globe. Once they were discharged the guys decided to open their own sub shop in their old neighborhood and enjoy civilian life.
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