Narrative Fiction

     Standing in this massive atrium lit by chandeliers, surrounded by 19 other women, I prepared myself to find love. Any minute now he would come walking in the door. I imagined someone tall, suave, and irresistibly handsome. The women around me were no doubt wrapped up in their own fantasies of the moment we had all waited months for. Hours of travel time, waivers, contracts, auditions, and screenings had led up to this. I was a contestant on an MTV dating show.

     My life on the farm seems like something that happened a million lightyears away. I come from small-town Kansas, a simple life, a hard-working family, and a long-standing cable subscription. I loved MTV and VH1 for all their programming, but there was always something that stood out to me about dating shows. For years I consumed Flavor of Love, I Love New York, The Bachelor, and other spin-offs and copycats. What a thrill it would be to find a beautiful AND rich man with the whole nation watching, while simultaneously beating out the other contestants! Appearing on one was never a dream to me – it was my destiny.

     Getting here was fairly simple – it began with an audition tape. This was not, by far, my first. I simply displayed my unique talents and fresh perspective in a 10-minute GoPro video and shipped it off to MTV. Maybe it was the massive backlog of entries they already had on file for me or it was just my good looks, but after a week of fervently checking, it finally arrived in my mailbox. I could have cried all over the MTV letterhead before I even got the paper unfolded. I held in my hands my invitation to The Player’s Club mansion.

     The Player’s Club was a relatively new reality dating show with a familiar premise common to the hits of this genre’s past. 20 beautiful and charismatic young women move into a gaudy mansion with luxury amenities, drivers, and cars all on MTV’s bankroll. While conducting an appropriate level of personal drama between each other to keep the cameras rolling, we also were to vie for the love and affection of one highly successful 25-35 year old professional athlete. His identity, thus far, had remained secret to us. Could it be Jesse Palmer? Tim Tebow? Cam Newton?

     I had no doubt that whoever it was, love was on the horizon for us. As I scanned the room, noting my competition, I knew that I was the clear choice for an eligible bachelor. Reflecting on my audition tape, I ran through a mental checklist of all of my fantastic qualities- smart, funny, and beautiful, with a keen knowledge of good farming practices and effective tractor maintenance. In the limo ride over here from MTV’s studio, I tried to get a feel for what the other girls were like. Some of them, like myself, were lifelong fans of this style of television. These were the power players. Others were simply here for the fun and the experience. Weak competition, they didn’t even chart on my radar.

    Looking at their faces, I wondered if I displayed the same kind of nervousness on my expression that they did. Admittedly I was feeling rattled. At only 23 I had left Kansas a number of times I could count on one hand. My whirlwind romance was finally here! My heart fluttered against my ribs like it was trying to escape. All eyes in the room were fixed on the door to the main house, the ornate doorknob sitting agonizingly still as the sun set at our backs.

     As if responding to my thoughts, the knob turned slowly. A loud gasp for air from 20 mouths was heard One foot in a highly-polished, mega-expensive loafer slipped through the entry followed by the rest of him – he had to be about 6’2 and as blonde as they came. I looked him up and downand up and downand over again for verification. Features – chiseled. Brow – slight. I was intrigued but something bothered me. He was a total stranger. While not an avid sports fan, I am familiar with the bigger names. Could he be a football player? He seemed too tall and rugged for baseball. Sensing the confusion, he flashed us a smile – and I became aware of his two missing teeth.

     “Ladies, this is Torsten Gunndersonn – goalie for the Norway Knights world champion hockey club,” explained the shorter, less attractive man standing at Torsten’s right arm. Smoothing back his greasy toupee with the back of his hand, he gestured to us with a broad sweep of his arm and flashed a toothy smile.

“You ladies have the distinct honor of winning this man’s heart and accompanying him back to Norway. I assure you he is nothing but a perfect gentleman in addition to his obvious good looks and wealth.”

      Fixing his bowtie, his brow furrowed. “Of coursethere is one thing of which you should be aware. While Torsten is a man of many talents and always open to learning new things, he does not currently speak a lick of English.”

Norway? Hockey? My perfect love was crashing down around me.

     However, as the months wore on, all of these little difficulties seemed to melt away. When I gazed into Torsten’s limpid blue eyes, the path I needed to take was clear. As I stood again in the atrium waiting for him to enter, I felt a natural calm that overpowered the sense of anxiety I once experienced in this chamber. The woman standing next to me, the other finalist, didn’t seem to share my ease. I watched her fingers dance over her arms, belying her steady gaze. We both knew what awaited us behind the door. Finally, as the sun dipped below the horizon, the door opened..

     As Torsten strode through, clutching a rose in his outstretched hand, he made a path straight for the other finalist. Her false calm demeanor finally broke and tears flowed freely down her cheeks as they embraced. However, as the slow burn of the competition finally faded out of the viewers’ interest, my fire had just been lit. The cameras followed as I glided through the open door, down the driveway, into the backseat of my private limo. I had won the ultimate prize – my own MTV dating show. At the producer’s single, the driver rolled away from the mansion to begin taping my spin-off.

Nonfiction