One day, sometime in the fictional past, there was a man called Odysseus.

This is Odysseus. The son of some guy whose name we can't pronounce or spell. He is a buff, smart, and brave Greek man.

Odysseus had a crew of slightly-less-buff, Greek men. They just finished fighting the Trojan War and decided to try and head home. A lot of weird things happened, and, all of a sudden, they found themselves on the island of the Cyclopes.

This is their ship. Odysseus is standing above everyone because he is buffer and smarter.

Buff Odysseus and his slightly-less-buff crew explored the island of the Man-Eating Cyclopes.

"We should try to find some locals," said the smart Odysseus. "I'm sure they'd love to help us out. Give us food."

So the crew and smart Odysseus went to find a local to mingle with.

Before they found a local, however, they stumbled upon a cave. It had a huge opening and a large boulder to the side.

"I wonder what that boulder the size of the opening is for," Crew Man #1 said.

"Probably nothing relevant to our future," responds the intelligent Odysseus.

This is the cave opening that the intelligent Odysseus and slightly-less-smart crew ventured into.

So the crew and brave Odysseus walked into the large cave. The slightly-less-smart crew members wanted to raid, but the intelligent Odysseus stopped them.

"My stupid crewmates," Odysseus began, "we cannot pillage this nice local man's home. It would be wrong. Let us wait inside, like the stupid people you are, and the intelligent man I am. We shall wait until the local man returns."

The crew nodded to the smart Odysseus' words and waited on the floor.

"Sir," asked Crew Man #2, "why are there bones in my corner?"

"Be quiet and ignore them. I'm sure they're nothing," Odysseus said to calm the man.

"There are bones in my corner too, Mr. Odysseus," cried Crew Man #3.

Odysseus rolled his eyes at his stupid crew. They were just human bones, after all. No reason to leave the cave.

The group sat up straighter when they heard a noise from the outside.

"Lambert! Lambert, my dear sheep, I'm home! Where are you, Lambert?" The crew and brave Odysseus tensed at the deep voice. A long shadow appeared in the mouth of the cave.

After a long wait of five seconds, a tiny man with one eye walked into the cave, rolling the giant boulder shut behind him.

This is the feared tiny cyclops of Man-Eating Cyclopes Island. Redrawn with two eyes because he is too terrifying without it. Cower before him.

"OMGs!" whisper-yelled Crew Man #5. "What is that tiny thing?"

"I don't know," Odysseus replied happily, "but I told you that it wasn't a threat. I probably could have moved that entire boulder by myself if I wanted to."

The crew continued to shake, despite Odysseus's reassurances.

The tiny man stopped once he saw the group of big humans. "I didn't order takeout. Who are you people?"

The brave Odysseus answered, "I am Odysseus. These men are my crew. We were hoping for assisstance on our voyage."

"Oh, I'll help you," assured the cyclops. "Don't worry."

And with that, the tiny monster grabbed a crew member, and ate him whole.

"OMGs!!!" screamed Crew Man #5. "He just, like, ate him whole!"

The cyclops continued eating Odysseus's crew men.

"It's like a bottomless pit!" exclaimed Crew Man #2. "Where does it put everything?"

The cyclops kept scarfing down humans.

Crew Man #3 wailed, "When will it stop?"

The cyclops let out a lengthy burp.

"I think it's done now," Odysseus hesitantly said.

"Oh, please," cried Crew Man #3, falling to his knees.

The cyclops fell on his face, snoring.

Odysseus creased his handsome brow. "Is it dead? Crew Man #4, go check."

"My name is Jimmy," mumbled Crew Man #4. But he went to the cyclops anyway, just as it let out a loud snore.

#4 backed away quickly. "It isn't dead," he announced.

"Of course," said Odysseus. "I guessed as much."

Odysseus looked over his remaining crew members. "I say we grab a big stick, and we stab his eye out.

Everyone looked at each other and nodded.

Together, they creeped towards the cyclops with a stick.

Odysseus held the stick in his right hand. With his left, he signaled to the group. The group of men wouldn't actually be doing anything, but Odysseus felt he should include them. After all, if the cyclops gets mad and reacts, Odysseus wanted someone else to sacrifice.

Odysseus began to whisper. "One, two, two and a half, two and three-quarters, three!"

And he stabbed the tiny cyclops right in his tiny eye.

"OWWWWWIIIIIEEEEEE!" screamed the tiny cyclops. "My eye! My eye! Owie!!!"

The crew and Odysseus ran back to the opposite wall, trying to avoid the flailing limbs of the now blind, tiny cyclops.

"Everyone," Odysseus began, "get to a corner and stay there. We'll tie ourselves to sheep and escape tomorrow. I will be the better man and use my buffness to hold onto the sheep without being tied so I can realease you all.