It’s been so long since I had a lover. My previous husband divorced me, and as much as I hate him for doing this, for breaking me, and making me hold on for so long while hoping that the relationship will get better, I still love him. With everyday passes by I feel lonelier. He was my first love. We met in high school in my freshmen year. We sat next to each other in spanish, and although he didn’t pay attention or seemed to like me and anyway shape or form, all I wanted to do was talk to him.

Chapter one ~ Her

My grades were affected by him, but I didn’t really care. He was popular from the start, and I was sort of quite and shy, but somehow we ended up having an easy flow of conversations. It didn’t feel like I had to force myself to talk to him. I admired him in every way. But by our second year of high school we had no classes together, and he ended dating one of the popular girls. Something that I wasn’t. And no matter how much it hurt I still moved on.

Another three years had passed by and we were both in college. The funny thing is, we went to the same university. We were in different majors but they were similar enough for us to see each other passing by through the yards and halls. At last our second year of college comes by and we ended up in same math class. Just like in high school we found each other sitting next to each other. And history wrote itself the same way it did in high school.

I fell in love again, but this time it seemed like he felt the same. He asked me out October 6. I felt pure happiness. We did everything together and stayed by each other sides 24/7. He was my first for everything. He was even my first kiss. We finished college and we decided to rent out an apartment together. In the end we got married the same day he asked me out, October 6th 1983. We even had 3 of the most amazing cubs any mother could ask for. We spent our days happily.

Until that one day. That one day when he ripped me apart. The day that started the day when I wouldn’t stop crying for two weeks on end. I had found him one day with another woman. I spent nearly twenty years with him. Head over heels, even after all the years that passed. I loved him more with everyday that drifted pass me.

I had brought the papers for the divorce, a little piece of me had hoped he wouldn’t sign. But he didn’t even hesitate. I’m growing older, and at this point the ones in my age are with their beloved ones. Even more I am now retired from working as an accountant. I thought I could never find love again.

It was until my youngest daughter had put me on an app called “Facebook.”  I didn’t understood much but after a while I got the hang of it.

One day as I was scrolling through suggestions I saw this group community page. The header was labeled as a “Singles Only.” This of course peaked my interest. It has already been 6 years since I had any types of intimacy with someone. I’m alone, and my sadness has been growing. I’m scared of what will come when I truly have given up on happiness. I decided to join the group. I scrolled through the feed and it seems to me that everyone put a picture of themselves and wrote a description about them and things they like to do. I decided if I was going to find a new love, that I should copy and do the same things that the others on the site are doing. I posted some photos and added my hobbies and things I love like my favorite dishes and assortments. I searched through the site even more to see my possible candidates.

I private messaged some hoping to get a reply, and as this happened the day went by. I decided I’ll go back to this tomorrow since it was already dark.

A few days had passed by, no one has messaged me back. I felt hopeless. While I was watching TV I heard a ding come from my outdated samsung. A thing called “nonfiction” popped up on my screen and it seems to be a message. It took me a few tries to figure out how it functions to actually open the message up, but eventually I got it it to open. It was from a guy named “Mark Stewart.”

“Hi! What’s a little lady like you doing on here?”

I was in utter surprise. Someone had finally messaged me and looked to actually have an interest in me. I clicked on his profile and he seemed to be a 40 year old man that was quite handsome. It took me a while to think of what to type back, and it took me another more moments to actually type. I decided on saying, “Oh nothing. Just looking for a nice person I could share my interests in.” After I sent that message it seemed like only a second had passed by before he sent me a text back.

“ Well it looks like we were looking for the same thing. I think we were destined.”

My mind couldn’t believe my eyes. And at the same time my heart wouldn’t slow down. We texted for another few hours, we had an easy flow of conversations, and seemed to like him. Just like with my first love, I couldn’t stop thinking about him, even after we had stopped the conversation for time to rest for the night.

And that’s when it all began. That’s when a hurdling pack of barrels came rolling down the hills to make it into my yard. When our story began.