My name is Snell. And as you can see, I'm a snail. Other snails are always telling me that I need to get out of my comfort zone and try new things. They're probably right but I would rather keep my routine. It allows for me to avoid any uncomfortable situations that may arise. I wake up, have breakfast, go for a crawl, nap, dinner, TV, and back to bed. Not very exciting I know but it's something that I can control.

My friends are always asking me to go out and do things with them but I always have an excuse ready. I've said 'no' so many times that they don't even bother to call me anymore. I never call any of my friends on the phone. I get very nervous and tend to stammer if I have to make a call. I am a loner and like it that way but not spending time with other snails isn't good for me either.

I like to go for my crawls around 10 a.m. I'm pretty strict about my routine. I get flustered if I have to make changes to my plans. I don't think my routine is that boring. I crawl different routes each time I go. I try to avoid as many snails as possible while I'm out there. I don't like small talk. The one thing I forgot to avoid was people. Some dude thought he was doing me a favor by picking me up off the sidewalk. He didn't want me to get squished. "Um, hello? You dropped me off in the wrong spot!"

"There you go Mr. Snail. Safe and sound." "You fool! Where am I? I don't recognize this place. How am I supposed to get home now?" I thought about calling for help but there was no Wifi in the area. I appreciate the human looking out for me but now I'm lost. Who knows what type of creatures live around here? Frogs? Snakes? Yikes! This is awful! What else could go wrong today?

A bird swooped down from above and carried me off in his beak. "Put me down!" I insisted. But the bird continued to fly to his destination. I hope he isn't planning on eating me. I promise that if escape I will start living my life differently. I'll be more outgoing, more friendly, and more adventurous. Just please don't eat me! As I wriggled in his beak, eventually the bird began to lose his grip on me. That was the good news. The bad news was that I was in for quite a long drop to the ground.

Much to my delight I landed gently in the middle of a beautiful forest. The sun was shining, the air was sweet, and all the trees and plants were a lovely shade of green. So why did I feel like there was something wrong? As I continued to take in the scenery, I began to sense that somebody was following me. Everytime I turned around nobody was there. "Ouch! I have stubbed my toe!" a man with a French accent cried out.

From out of the bushes, a bunch of marbles, at least they looked like marbles, rolled towards the mystery man. As he tried to grab me he wound up tripping over the marbles. "Quick! Hop on!" a giant turtle called out to me. Turtles have been known to eat snails but what other choice did I have? I crawled aboard the turtle as we made our getaway. It took a while. A very long while. But eventually we escaped. "So..........are............you.............from.........around..........here?" the turtle slowly asked. It appeared as though I was destined for a long, boring trip. 

Eventually the turtle brought me to a secluded part of the forest. A couple of snails lead me through a tunnel that took me inside a giant log. There I was greeted by a giant snail wearing a gold crown. "Bienvenue au Jardin. Welcome to The Garden. My name is King François, Ruler of 'The Escargatoire of Snails.' You appear to be new to my kingdom so allow me to tell you all about us."

"Following years of neglect and pollution, our habitat became radioactive. There was something unnatural in the soil that the snails consumed. Little did we know that the chemicals we were ingesting would turn us into an elite band of fighters. Snails are not aggressive by nature. Usually we tend to hide inside our shells until our enemy has retreated. But not The Escargatoire of Snails. We always stand our ground. A lot of the trash that was dumped in our home came in packages that were in both English and French. In our advanced stage, we were able to learn both languages."

"Although we are accomplished at swordsmanship and archery, my army saved you by retreating into their shells to trip up your attacker." "Who was that guy anyways?" "That is our arch-enemy, celebrity chef Hippolyte Vigouroux. He specializes in French cuisine and his most popular dish is, you guessed it, escargot." "What's escargot?" "You foolish boy. Escargot is the French word for snail. He wants to turn us into an appetitizer. He's always trying to capture us with his pesky cat Armand." "Like Gargamel and Azrael from The Smurfs?" "Sigh. Yes, if that helps" The King mumbled.

"What about the turtle that brought me here? Don't turtles eat snails?" "They do but not Théodore. He is our friend. He's also got a grudge against Hippolyte Vigouroux as the French gourmet once tried to turn him into soupe de tortue. Ever since we saved him from a boiling pot of water he's been a loyal member of my regiment."  "Wow!" I replied overwhelmed by this bizarre world I never knew existed. "What a wild story." "'Tis no story young snail. It is our life. You haven't really experienced much of the real world have you my boy?" "I guess not" I replied a little embarrassed.

"Life around here usually moves at a snail's pace but we must always be vigilant. There are many predators in The Garden who would like nothing more than to feast upon us. That is why I am having you train with Roch Grandjean, the most gallant Chevalier in all the land. You have handled a sword before?" "Uh, of course!" I nervously laughed. When you're shy there's nothing more embarrassing than learning a new skill in front of strangers. What if I make a complete fool of myself? All the other snails will be watching. I began to get nervous about my training.

As predicted my first few days of training were a disaster. I repeatedly dropped my sword as the other snails laughed. I got all sweaty and my face got flushed. But the more I practiced, the better I got. Suddenly I felt a newfound confidence and when it was time to duel with Roch Grandjean, I was victorious. The other snails cheered my name as Grandjean bowed before me out of respect. I guess the best way ot overcome your fears is to confront them. But how was I going to be able to match up with an obsessed chef and his mangy cat?

It's amazing what a little self-confidence can do for a snail. I found myself striking up conversations with snails I had never met before. I am usually very uncomfortable with strangers, but now I was not only engaging with the other snails, I was leading the discussions. I even managed to learn a little French along the way. Unfortunately, this would be the calm before the storm. Trumpets blared as the other snails gathered around King François. He had received a letter from one of his spies warning of a surprise attack by Hippolyte Vigouroux.