Well, good luck reading and if you are lucky, you might get nuked by confetti!!

As we know, it is modern times...

This penguin, Pong, wants to take over the world. Don't ask me why he looks like the Linux mascot because he ISN'T the Linux mascot and the reason why is Tux is his goody two shoes neighbor.

But he needs to start off with a job to get money... but there's one sad thing... He is uneducated because he's a penguin. 

DUNCE

We need a high paying job so he can create his doomsday devices so I decided that I'll help him get a science job!!!!

But first, he needs to learn The Periodic Table!

Um... PONG THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!

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So, this is the Periodic Table of Elements. It is composed of metals, nonmetals, and metalloids. The metals are represented by yellow, the nonmetals are purple, and the metalloids are greenish blueish.

So the metals are lustrous and are malleable.

And the nonmetals are mostly gaseous and liquid and mostly not shiny.

Metalloids are in between.

I don't care if this is too much knowledge for you! You have to learn! YEESH!

Now then, every little square on here is the name of an element... You are made of them.

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WEE OOH WEE OOH WEE OOH WEWEWEWEWEWEWEWWEWEWEWEWE!!

Did you seriously think you were made out of squares!!! I better get you a brain!

This is an atom. You are made of these. DON'T FAINT!! The outer ring of electrons determines the reactivity of the atom. Because of this, the outer electrons are called valence electrons. These determine reactivity.

The number of protons determines what element it is. The neutrons balance the protons and make sure the atom doesn't explode. The unstable atoms are used to create nukes!

INTELLIGENCE

The second I say nukes, you get interested...

FRESH

STYLISH

Nuke

Bible

Do you see those columns? Those are Families. Every atom in a family has the same amount of valence electrons and because of that, they have similar chemical properties. 

And the rows are called  Per- WHAT!!! HEY HEY HEY STAP THAT RIGHT NOW! THAT'S NOT HOW YOU CREATE A NUCLEAR EXPLOSION AND FIRST OF ALL YOU ARE GOING TO GET YOURSELF KILLED!!

Okay, so those rows are called Periods. Each atom in a period has the same amount of electron rings.

But before we get to that, we need to name all the groups...

Alkali Metals is the first one and by far the most reactive. Sodium and Potassium are in here and Sodium is for salt.

Alkaline Earth Metals are the second and are a little less reactive but very reactive. They have Calcium and Radium.

 Calcium is used in plastics.

Next, we have Transition Metals, and those are the metals that we see everywhere, the boring ones. They are barely reactive. This has Gold and Iron. Iron is used for swords and knives.

So the next one is the Boron Group...

These are sorta like metals because there's one metalloid called Boron in here. The rest are metals like Aluminum which is used for foil. 

Then we have the Carbon Group which of course has Carbon and then it has others such as Lead. Carbon makes diamonds.

The Pnictogen Group is pretty reactive and has Nitrogen

and Arsenic. Arsenic is a rat poison.

The Chalcogen Group is also reactive and has Oxygen and Sulfur. Oxygen is used for breathing.

The Halogen Group is just as reactive as the first group and contains Chlorine and Fluorine. Chlorine makes salt with sodium.

The last group is the Noble Gases, and it contains Neon and Helium. This is the least reactive group. Helium is used for balloons.

Hey! Pong let me see your notebook(Nuke Bible)!!

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Um okay I'll use Moogle translate

NUKES! RADIUM! SULFUR! ARSENIC! HYDROGEN! CHLORINE! 

You know that you should take notes for everything right? because how are you going to build a nuclear shelter?

Well then, now you are ready time to get a job!!

Wait, what's that you're saying? You don't need a job! Okay I guess, you can go straight to ruling the world!! Just don't do anything to me because I helped you.