“Katie, I have some big news,” says Sarah, Katie’s older sister. “I am finally getting married to Ben! I am so excited, but there is so much planning and preparation that will need to go into this wedding. Do you think you can help me with it all?”

“I would love to help!” says Katie, “Except I’m not exactly sure what goes into a wedding or how to plan it.”

“That’s okay,” Sarah explains. “I’ll guide you through everything. Follow my lead!”

“Okay, let’s begin. Because we are having a Reform Jewish wedding, the first thing that we need to do is find a rabbi to officiate our service. A rabbi is a Jewish scholar and teacher that will provide Ben and I with guidance, support, and knowledge before, during, and after our wedding.”

“Well," Katie says, "do you have anybody in mind?”

“Actually, we do! We are going to work with Rabbi Starry from our synagogue at home. We have known him for a long time- he even officiated the wedding between mom and dad. We are so lucky to have such an amazing person in our lives like Rabbi Starry, and having him at the wedding will be extra meaningful to our family.”

Sarah and Ben are very fortunate that Rabbi Starry was so willing to officiate their wedding. It can sometimes be difficult for Jewish couples to find a rabbi that they really click with or to find one that is willing to make major changes to the ceremony that the couple insists on. Rabbis are ritualists, counselors, leaders, guides, and authority figures, so it is important that Jewish couples select one that best aligns with their hopes and visions for the wedding.

“We now need to decide on a time and place,” Sarah tells Katie.

Jewish weddings typically take place on any day of the week besides the Sabbath, which is Friday evening to Saturday evening, or any any other major Jewish Holiday.

“I have an idea! What about a Saturday evening, after Sundown, at the University of Virginia because that is where you and Ben met each other!”

"That is an excellent idea! We now get to pick out a wedding dress for the big day. Let's go!"

Sarah knows that Katie loves to shop, so the two of them go to a bridal gown store to pick out a wedding dress. 

"That's definitely the one!" Katie exclaims, as she sees her beautiful sister dressed in all white.

Another major component of a Jewish wedding is the ketubah, or wedding contract. The ketubah outlines the bride and groom’s promises to each other in marriage, their love and commitment, and their responsibility to create a loving Jewish household.

“Ben and I have started thinking about a ketubah text that we would like to use for our wedding. Something that we value is language that promotes equality in our marriage, and a commitment to each other through good times and bad,” Sarah tells Katie.

The ketubah is signed by the couple and two witnesses before the ceremony takes place, then is read to the guests during the ceremony.

Sarah shows Katie the katubah that their parents used in their wedding, which is hung up in their house!

Sarah tells Katie that “all of these things take place before the wedding even starts. There are so many more traditions that happen during a Jewish wedding that I can’t wait to tell you all about.”

“Like what?” asks Katie, eager to hear more about her sister’s wedding.

“Let’s jump right into it!”

At Jewish weddings, the couple and rabbi stand under a beautiful wedding canopy, called a huppah. The huppah symbolizes the home of the couple and their love and hospitality, something that is valued in Jewish tradition.

“Our huppah will be made by our Grandma. She is going to use flowers and her crochet skills to make it for us,” Sarah tells Katie. 

imagine something like this!

“When the wedding ceremony begins, mom and dad will walk me to the huppah arm in arm. You will follow right behind and be there every step of the way. Once we are at the huppah, there is another Jewish tradition called the circling of the bride around the groom.”

“What’s that?” Katie asks.

“I will walk in a circle around Ben seven times, which symbolizes a few things. First, as the world was created in seven days, by circling Ben seven times, we start the creation of our family. It also symbolizes our love and commitment to each other. It may look a little silly, but there is meaning behind it!” Sarah explains. 

Sarah will walk around Ben seven times at the beginning of the ceremony

The ceremony then begins with a blessing over a cup of wine. 

“Wine represents joy in Judaism,” Sarah tells Katie, “and after Rabbi Starry tells us to have a sip, he will say a short blessing that gives thanks for the delight of reaching this joyous moment.”

Blessed are You, Eternal One our God, Ruler of the Universe, Creator of the fruit of the vine.

“Remember that ketubah we talked about before? The wedding contract? Well, after the wine, our ketubah will be read aloud for everyone at the wedding to hear!”

Katie asks, “Who reads it?”

Sarah responds, “Rabbi Starry will read it. He will help us find the perfect text, so it is our pleasure to have him share it with the audience.”