WEEK 10

Another One

This week, another trial happens to our family. I am not used sharing personal problems with others. But, in this case, I will try to be open. This week my mother experiences a mild stroke, and up until now, she has a hard time walking, but then, thankfully, she is in good condition compared with others who experience the same case.

These past days, I am questioning the Lord why it happened? Last two years, my father died because of an illness, and now illness strikes my mother. I do not know why it happens to us in times when we have not yet fully recovered, and now we faced another test of faith again. So far, I do not know the answers, but I must continue. As our pastor said, “Life does not get easier, so we must get stronger every day.”

Meanwhile, I act differently this week towards my family and my friends. I know that I changed treating others since I used to assess myself. I feel that I can easily influence people around me and transfer the bad vibes or negative aura to them. Thus, to avoid affecting other people, I try to minimize interacting with my classmates and friends, isolate myself as possible, and stay quiet. I do not talk if it is unnecessary; I avoid interacting with other people to make things peaceful.

I used to by myself every time I experience adversities and trying to fix things on my own. I do not usually ask for help from others because I do not want to add on their problems. The thing I do to releases stress is to sleep, and even I have a lot of things to do, I prefer sleeping than still awake so that my mind will rest on thinking about my current situation. Sleeping and isolating myself is my escape, and every time I wake up, I try to feel good despite burdens within me. I am not sure if there are the right things to do? But for now, this is the only way I can do to manage myself. Life goes on.